Dear Diaries~ *_*

Itz been a long while~... i apologize. Not that im malas or anything, itz just that i've been jotting down most of my feelings onto my diary book instead. Aha thatz d thing, i cant make this blog too personal ba~.. nope, im bad with keeping myself in, but expressing it to d public? Okeh fine i do,but not much in blog la (seriouslyyy~).. :P


After a long blog holiday (*_*), i now present you a special post ;D maybe nothing to you, but somehow it means a lot to me. This is my kind of joy. Keeping memorable stuffs have always been one of my greatest hobby, never once i missed a day without writting (&drawing) my diary before.


Itz a pity i no longer do d same routine anymore~..


Since i came home to Brunei, i re-read all my diaries again~.. i love to look back. I kept my own diary since primary 1, all thankz to my mum who bought and taught me how to write a journal on my 7th birthday. It became one of d most important things to me til now.

Sad, i lost my 1st journal, atleast i still have d 2nd one :) left side - are the oldest books i kept. From primary 2 (1995) to primary 4 (1997).

Not much of a daily journal tho, i filled the books with cartoons mostly. D li'l gal got such an imagination! (Sometimes i wonder where i got all d ideas from..those wonder years)

Not to forget d fact that i started making comics at early age, i loved making d HORROR type. Hey, i was good yo.




Below, 1 of my good ones (1997), 'The Demon One Night" aha, d story is so original, came out from no where - since d story was not planned at all. Of coz itz lame and non sense since it came from me, furthur more, the 9 years old me.

Primary 6's - P.C.E examination (1999) whahaha~ *_* Just by looking at it made me remmber exactly the feelings when i drew this~ itz like vision of a chicken while eating chicken flavoured crisp :P apakan
At d end of my primary yearz - had so many time in hand. Drew a lot that holiday, below right hand side was something i was really proud of ;)~.. those dayz~.. Langsung nda berapa pulang actually.


My 1st year as a secondary student (2000), the year where aku paling rajin buat diary.

Not to mentioned how detailed it is (every sentence comes together with their own cartoon!).

Plus, itz d year where kids go thro stages of puberty, my point of view about boys started to change there haha. Every single day included something about my crush, altho i only look from afar. So cute, yet so kashian ;D

Form 2 (2001), Started to use computer to type in my daily happenings - printed it, pasted it & drew onto it..wow, i was that RAJIN?

Zaimah and i started to become best of frenz from that year onwardz~..

I love my Form 3 (2002) diary, Either in and out is neat. D book cover especially - made it myself. Photocopied my own comic with some other comics i loved, cut, mix and paste - TADA, i give u a lovely Pu3z original ;D

An improved style of mine~.. musim PMB ba, yet sentiasa ada masa to do these things.

Going onto my 4th year (2003)~ my dad bought me a digital camera :) so since then , pandai2 tia ku putting in pictures. Not that often tho~..but from that year onwards, i began to appreciate pictures more.

Above - our 1st biology animal experiment!! Cutting out the organs, how cool is that!! (there'z a reason why i love SAW from the start *o*) i do feel sorry for d mouse tho......


Im still surprise the fact that i used to love writting stories at d same time!!! Now i see Im actually really weak at writting in english baa~ Suruh aku buat english essay? Baik tah aku lumpat dari gunung nah, jadi puteri gunung ledang.
(2004), my 1st fully used school organiser! Well, this year SMB made their 1st ones wa, im not gonna waste it. As a result, i really like d way it is organised, short and simple, yet still able to fill in drawings everyday :D

  Growing older, i changed d way i handle my journals. Starting from lower 6 (2005), I began to use 2 books, one for my daily organiser, another for confessions~ woooooo~.... Never fail to bring both to school.
Being me, for d love of treasuring anything memorable, i made special pages in organiser such as those especially for cute mini photos,
autograph and drawings. :) 







Whatz funny - is how i managed and tried to make my daily diary short n simple everyday~ my fren did asked me why didnt i just buy a real organiser instead~ ;P guess i love to keep things my own way.
Confession book, of coz, something i jotted only when i feel like it.

Where i expressed my confusions, love and anger in my own way, i usually end it up with a perfect solution which made myself feel better. Mostly filled with writtings, but sometimes i let out my thoughts and feelings in a form of comic.

I started to take in interest in expressing myself thro making comics since form4 tho. Now i only make comics all about me~..which is yah, so~.. umm, siok sendiri?? haha, don mind, don care.

I've done cover to cover 2 comic diaries so far. Still on going, now im doing my 3rd one.


Actually, itz mostly about love tho. Is it what we called the chronicle of finding true love? Yah, my journey continues~....
I started to be a lil bit active in blogging since last year, but i couldnt express my true self~.. i guess im afraid about people's point of view, d fact how i worry & complain too much about how things are. I need to go back on track~ and i have to make sure i will always do~...

From what i see~ *_*

I tend to think alot these dayz~ i've done so many mistakes - those mistakes i myself didn't even realise at first. I've got lotz to learn~....

Im turning 21 soon~ sigh, y so fast? Guess im not ready to be there yet. I wonder~.. have i really grown up? ahaha~ dari segi pikiran la. Hmmm~ i see things differently. People say im clueless~ hahaha, banar plg, well, im not really that clueless!! :P i just look bangang all the time thatz all haha.

Anyway~.. i find it sad~.. knowing the fact that not everyone can live their life the way they wanted. Yah~ so unpredictable~.. we just have to be strong and try to move forward.

About me, i wanna learn more about myself. Itz scary there's still some part of me i dont understand. I can get over the limit sometimes, itz so annoying, especially when i get too overexcited. I cant help myself, altho, i still have to try.

But then again, im glad i have been the way i am. I dont regret for all things i have done. Cause for who i am now is from who i was by then. Still~.. the future scares me...

Letterz from the past~ *_*

*Due to my slow internet connection, i had a hard time trying to upload picz~ :P i apologize lama nda update*

Last 2 weeks - spent d whole day rah Zai's with illa since she was going back to NZ~ i posted this msareto udah, now itz pictures time. Sekali rajin, rajin~ sekali malas, malas. Sayang bah i edited d picz last time, itz never to late.

I wonder bah~ y do i have to post pictures kan? Why do other ppl to do so? To show and let everyone know what r d thingz u have done? But~ mo orang kan tau kan? I mean me bah, why did i blog at the beginning? Hmmmmmmm~.... okeh okeh~ leave it, lain pulang aku ah aiyaya. Back to where i supposed to talk about~

Letterz from the past.

Finally the day have come. Itz all started in 2002, abez pmb, ikut-ikutan dari comic 'Chibimaruko', me and Zai made letterz for each other and ourselves to be read in the future. And when we said future, we meant around our 20's~ who knew that we would seperate countries apart?

Now, 2008 is here, Im so happy Zai managed to go home! D letterz were made every year since 2002, so there's lotz to read! From me myself, from Zai, Illa, Hayat and Mahirah! - Forgot 2 tell the other girls had joined in some of the yearz back then. Ytah we were hoping to opened the letterz with everyone but hayat n mahirah nda dapat. But since diz may be d only time Zai ada, terpaksala...

Nyway~Let the letters opening ceremony beginz!

~Starting from the oldest one 2002, in a soda bottle ehe (we planned to buried it in smb msareto :P nasib baik nda jadi) Berdegup jantung ani wa~ *_*

Reading the letters out loud, cali la~ our 1st letters were quite short and colourful~ we were in form3, still boycrazy talking about each and every guy we admire, oh man~ this is what we get from the past??? Im not going to read mine :P sabut sabut pun bangang saja orang aha. Nyway, this is from Zai 2002 to Pu3 2008~

"Pu3~ i love u! Apa khabar mu? Rinduku eh~ kau ani bestfrenku dari form1. Jangan lupakan aku. Cubako~ ku tumbuk ko! Ku gigit ko! Apa kau buat masa ani? Sapa boymu? (1) Zuhri? (Iya...bisai...-_-') (2) Zell? (Padan padan :D smoga bahagia) (3) Jack? (Oh my god...@_@) (4) Petrick? (I'll kill you *_* i'll die)

Thanx 4 being my bestfren!"

Oh wow~ dat was surprisingly funny~ Ramai jua calon boyfren ku =_=' yah, listed were all my admires back then. Semua lagi kana bari nickname tu, rinduku eh =o= I've been without a single special boyfren for 19 years but i have damn a hell lots of guys i got crush on over d yearz whahahaha~ wait, is that something ntuk dimalukan kah or something to be proud of? :P:P:P - aku bangga ehhhh donno y.

Uh oh~ and - Zai sounded so ganassssss~!!

Then~ we opened all the other letters one by one~ baca sama2~ ketawa sama2~ malu sama2~ banyak question yang buat lain rasa ati... like.. "Ndakan nda berbf masa ani kan?!' or~.. "Kawin tah sudah??" from Illa ehehehe~..

Back then~... we didnt know what we will be at the age of 20~.. i didnt think of getting into University that time, I didnt think that the way i would be will still gonna be d same.

After reading all the letters, sunyi rasanya~

Ceremony ended~

After we went to pasar malam for midnight snack~ we went straight to bed. Illa's 1st sleepover ehe~ XD

Next morning was refreshing~ since itz d last day with Zai, we took so many picz with Zai's camera. Ya la~ bukannya selalu kan?Sampat ke CA Muhammad for breakfast~..

Oh and dat petang~ sampat Hadee datang jua! And he just came back from Aussie a day before.

Uh, not much to say~ just showing off some of the pics ;) lawa ba d quality and colours. and itz Zai's camera anyway. oh oh, and so many pictures of me mE ME! Aha, im not that vain actually, klu mua lawa buleh la :P ...like musim nda berjerawat ka XD den barutah berabez...wait, nda jua la...

Me~... being with my closest friends~ im so glad that we didnt change much eventhough we're oceanz apart. i hope this friendship remains forever~..

Altho we'll never know what'll happen next~...

Frenz who were there for each other~ *_*

Bought new specz yesterday in Miri~ itz my 1st time with thick frames. L3.5, R2.5. I actually kinda like it :)

Hahaha~ over all these yearz, ani barutah berani post myself with glasses. I started wearing one since primary 6 actually. Then contact lenses since form2. Not many ppl know i wear glasses, bida bahhhh, macam orang tua~.. seriously T_T

Nyway, just had a date with Longlong (still consider a date kah? Aha ;D) this morning wit specz (1st time ever!) - just for a change. See, i look different kan? Longlong likes it somehow hurh, a new me? Oh come'n~

Both of us havent got our good appetite eversince we came back home~.. well, i hope u ppl understand~.. Got skinnier than before~..So i thought abt having lunch together, and have a nice chat.
But then~.. the food didnt look appetizing at all~.. ->

We talked about the things we've been thro~ to think it over, it was beautiful somehow. We are glad we met each other, learned, taught one another and going through so many things together. But the time have come to realise that we have to move on. No regrets.

Coz we are still the same :)

A quick snap~ Longlong's genuine smile haha :PLonglong never like to be in pictures haha, you could actually see from his fake smiles :P aku yg suka ambil gambar ani, asal keluarkan camera, marung tu muanya aha. If only he gets a li'l vain. Oh well~

We are who we are~..