Thursday, 16 August 2007

Gomene~Ryu-kun~...

Knowing Longlongz going to study in America~ I’ve alwez tried to prepare myself for this day will come. I wannabe strong~ I have to make sure that everything’s gonna be okay~ I wanna try my best to make him happy~ instead I HURT him even more. I’m so sorry Longlong~!! I didn’t mean it~!!!

Being broke meanz no pressie for em~ Juz a self made card at 1st~ til sabby came. I really really thank sabby for helping me making cookies for him!~ the cookies turned out to be such a big deal!

Imagine how happy and bersemangat I was being able to make something for him to eat &…….. imagine how deadly hurt I was when he told me he cant bring the food with him on the plane. He only managed to took a bite., then went off. Bcoz of that, I started to break down~...

I knew he was in peer pressure~ nervous and sad~ knowing that his time have finally come~ and he have to leave his family and everyone else. I should have understand~! N I asked him to eat the cookies?? Like he had the appetite~?! I cried & went mnyamal~ I didn’t even look at him when he was about to go~ Why did I do that?? N there was even once wen my anger strikez~ Allah~.. I never thought I would react that way.. Im now asking for forgiveness from everyone for my behavior yesterday.

Itz really nice to know that hilmi, mahirah & rhyme were there beside me to calm me down & think reasonably~.. Itz hard in a situation like that~ U tend to be emotional & unreasonable~ Itz becoz of the LOVE is it?? He’s leaving for 4 years~!! I tried so hard to smile~& be strong~.. & now im saying that the reason I cried is becoz of the cookies??? I didn’t even made it myself! All I did is to follow sabby’z instruction & do as she said~

On the very last minute~ I did manage to go to longlong pulang~..fuh! Sampat jua buat our friendship (?) handshake haha~.. When Longlong left, I gave his mum one of the cookies~& told her about it. She said it was nice n I started to burst in tears again~ yah, we hugged~ She made me feel a lot lot better.

Longlong~ It’ll be a year until the next time we meet~.. I hope itz not gonna be rilli hard~ I hope we’ll alwez be in contact~ I hope thingz will never change~.. I’ve make sure we can work out this distant relationship~.. for there will never be anyone else but him :) haha. We’ll see.

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